Monday, April 28, 2014

230lbs. to 130lbs.


I've always had a big appetite.  

I've always been a stress eater. 

When we got married, yes it was one of the happiest moments of my life but it was also extremely stressful. Marriage is not a fairy tale, the first year it's a LOT of work. Two people that have done things their own way, their entire lives are suddenly thrown together and EXPECTED to figure it out.  We were both stubborn, had our own ideals, and wanted things done OUR way.  Marriage is tough. I think divorce rates more than prove that.  


On top of the struggles of a new marriage I had a very difficult relationship with my new Mother-in-Law. She's an amazing women (I mean she did raise my Husband right?)  But to say our relationship was less then cordial was putting it nicely.  I never spoke back/defended myself because you just don't do that with elders. And most importantly I knew the Hubs was between a rock & a hard place. Our first year of marriage I felt suffocated.  I was married to an amazing (albeit stubborn man.. we've BOTH learned to compromise over the years) but his mother constantly made me feel like crap.  I could do nothing right and was constantly berated for it.  Even in public.  It was killing him watching his mother treat me the way she did - I wasn't about to reciprocate the same way no matter how much she hurt/upset/angered me.  

Instead I cried and ate my feelings. 


But I couldn't really complain I mean we lived a typical Yuppie lifestyle.  Hubs worked for a private company in San Francisco, the occasional international trip, Sunday brunch with the girls and Friday nights meant trying out whatever was the latest, greatest and swankiest SF eatery.

And then out of no where The Hubs wakes up one day and says:

"I think I want to go back into the service."

Say what?  What the what.


Growing up I was pretty sheltered I didn't even KNOW anyone in the military much less had any exposure to it whatsoever.  When the Hubs originally brought it up we discussed it for a full 48 hours straight we didn't even sleep.

I basically flat out said no in the beginning but after listening to him I realized he was about as selfless a person could possibly be.  He wanted to serve those (and their amazing families) that were putting their lives on the line every single day..  He wanted to do good by his country.  He didn't have to join the military but he wanted to to do more with his life and feel like he was actually making a difference. How could I say no to that.


We joined and in less than 3 years we've gone from San Francisco to Texas, to Germany, back to Texas, to Washington DC, back to Germany. Insane right?  Did you know "Moving" is one of the 3 biggest stresses in life?  It ranks up there with Death & Divorce. 

Moving in general was hard but moving to Germany was ESPECIALLY hard.  

Isolating even.  

I gave up friends, family, job, self identity.


And all the while the scale kept creeping higher and higher.  One day in a dressing room I realized I couldn't even fit into a size 18.  I sat down on the dressing room floor and basically had a breakdown.  F21, H&M ect whatever was cheap and whatever I could pull over my fat.  Lots of jean leggings because nope buttons wouldn't work.  I couldn't get regular pants/jeans up my thighs.  Half the time I didn't even care if it was cute or not. (Believe me when you're over a size 12 there's not a whole lot that's cute.)  I would wear the same thing for days on end because nothing would fit and I hated shopping.  I couldn't even look myself in the mirror.


This is a total side note but even while I was/is loosing weight I continued to wear cheap "throwaway" clothes because I've literally gone from a size 20 to a size 4/6 in a year and a half.  I couldn't very well be running out every single month and buying an entire new wardrobe so while I was losing weight the cheap stretchy/oversized tee shirts and leggings that I wore when I was Obese allowed me to wear them for greater amounts of weight loss before I had to replace them. When I lost the first 50 pounds (180lbs.) I ran out and bought some a pair of new jeans and a blazer from a pricey mid level European brand and then within 2 months they became entirely too big.  At this point I've had to donate bags upon bags of clothes so if I find something TRULY amazing/pretty/cute I'll purchase it in a slightly smaller size for motivation because I know at some point I'll get there!


I was generally unhappy, depressed and pissy all the time.  I was critical about everything and everyone - even total strangers!  Ever hear the phrase "Everyone you meet is your mirror"?  I strongly believe that whenever we judge someone else we're really just noticing things about ourselves we don't love. The bigger I got the more hyper critical I got.  To make myself feel better I would make judgements about people all the time namely appearance wise (I suspect it had more to do with my own body issues than anything else) .. "She really should see a hairstylist", "Talk about cankles", "UGH she really should not be wearing that." ect.

I was a truly hateful sucky person.


NOBODY that's leads a truly fulfilling and happy life spends their time concerned with others shortcomings or for that matter even notices them at all. And to a certain extent in my (completely deluded) state I thought that if I was judgemental and critical of them first then it would negate THEM being judgemental & critical of MY appearance and weight.

There's two articles that I found online when I was at an all time low that really floored me when I read them. Even now when my weight creeps up a few pounds and I'm feeling a bit negative I go back to to them because it really does put me in a better head space.


I realized the more unhappy I was with myself the more I judged others which lead me right back to judging myself and (then binge eating while I did it).  It was a vicious endless cycle. 

I go back to these articles periodically to remind myself of how far I've come and more importantly how far I want to go.

After all happy begets happy! 

I mean seriously how can good things happen to you when you spend all your time being negative and nasty.

And bonus because....


And what's not to be happy about I'm married to the most amazing man ever.  A man who never once ceased to tell me that I was beautiful even at 230lbs.

Truth of the matter was I was a sh*tty wife to him.  I was petty, disagreeable, hyper critical and completely checked out.  I never wanted to do anything.  He'd want to walk the dogs, go out to dinner, go on a trip.  It was always "pass", "boring", not interested".


One of the biggest reasons that drew me to my husband in the first place was how disciplined of an individual he was.  When we met I was so impressed by his Doctorate (not because it meant he was a smartie.. which he is tho lol!) but because I know it takes that much for someone to complete a Doctoral program.  I felt embarrassed for myself all the time but deep down I was embarrassed for him.  Someone that works 8-10 hours a day, comes home and studies 4 hours and then works-out/runs/goes to the gym 3x a week.  I couldn't even compare and since I couldn't - I nagged, super hyper-critical about everything.  I wanted to make HIM feel like he didn't measure up which was far from the truth because the reality was that I DIDN'T.


It wasn't just a vanity issue that catapulted me to lose weight - I went in for an annual health exam (something that I'd avoided for a good 4-5 years at that point but became a requirement when you joined army life) and a week later the Hubs came home and sat me down and said "Babe you know I rarely ever say no to you but.... you have to change your eating habits.  You're pre-diabetic, you have hypertension (high blood pressure), high cholesterol.. if you continue this way in a year or so you're going to need daily insulin shots, Lipitor, Anti-Hypertensives ect.

I was 29.   


As the weight dropped off I felt happier and more confident about myself, I realized I was criticizing others (and myself!) less.  I felt plugged in.. I wanted to be outside, to travel, to volunteer, to work again, to learn how to drive again (long story short got into major accident, totaled car completely, too paralyzed by fear to drive since then end story).

And something else amazing happened - I was suddenly a much better wife to my husband (something he deserved all along).  I was interested in his work life.  I was interested in going out with him.  I took over grooming our fur babies.  I started weekly menu planning and cooking more elaborate meals.  I helped him with work & school stuff.  The list goes on but in general I was a much more "present" person and wife.


As the numbers on the scale got smaller and smaller I realized I was also purchasing less and less luxury goods.  I went from acquiring 4 new Chanel bags in one year to 1 Chanel bag in THREE years!  And some 10+ pairs of designer shoes whittled down to just 2 pairs last year (both of which were gifted by the Hubs so I "technically" didn't purchase a single pair of shoes on my own account last year lol!). Don't get me wrong I will always love designer goods.. I mean who doesn't?  But I realized to a certain extent I was "hiding" behind my designer goods.  I NEEDED them to feel good about myself.  I wasn't actually enjoying them like someone who was comfortable and happy with themselves.

And actually the Hubs surprised me with a couple of Chanel bags & other luxury items this past year with his annual bonus but I never "revealed" them because I... *GASP* returned them!  And I put the money towards the principal of our car.. which allowed us to pay off our car 2 years earlier!!

BEST FEELING EVERRRR!

(Yes even better than a new purse lol!)



I know this post is pretty word heavy and deep(er) then normal but I felt like 100 pounds of weight loss in the last year and a half warranted it!

Stay tuned in the next few weeks I'm going to be a doing a mini blog series detailing exactly how I lost all the weight!!

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93 comments:

  1. Lisa, what an amazing post! thank you for sharing :D also it brings back memories to see our photos together. I can't believe so many years has passed since!!! let us know next time you guys stop by bay area!

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  2. Lisa, this post is so inspiring and beautiful! It's so heartmoving how honest, vulnerable, and REAL you allow yourself to be on the blogosphere. You were always different from many other bloggers I follow because of your funny, real, and down-to-earth personality- you don't try to paint a perfect-looking life but show it how it is with funny/witty commentary here and there- and still always fabulous!
    And I love your marriage with Lucas, he is truly a wonderful husband and it's beautiful to see how much the two of you respect and support each other and love each other unconditionally!

    You're an amazing woman and truly inspiring! I feel so motivated and encouraged through this post! And btw, I noticed your style in the last year or so has experienced similar European adaptations as mine, meaning a whole lot more of black haha! Three words come to mind with that last photo: svelte, sophisticated, and stunning!

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  3. I really enjoyed this post, Lisa. It takes a lot to be able to realize our own faults. It takes even more to be able to lift yourself up and make the changes. To top it all off, you had the strength and courage to share your story on a public forum. Congratulations to you--not just on the weight loss--for the mental and spiritual journey you have been on. I am greatly looking forward to more posts on this subject!

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  4. Thank you for sharing Lisa. This wouldn't have been easy for you - but it shows off how strong you have become and how far you have gone on your journey. I really admire you. I've been reading your blog since you started and saw the changes through time. you are an inspiration :) Thank you x

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  5. Lisa! You are an amazing person. Thank you so much for opening up and sharing such a personal story. You are truly inspiring!

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  6. Such an inspiring and amazing post! Thank you so much for sharing! You look great as always!!

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  7. This has been amazing to see and hear from you! I'd never have guessed that you were 100 more pounds before! NEVER would I have guessed! I've known my boyfriend 4 years and the last two with him I attribute to my 30-40 pound weight loss, I weight less now than I did in 6th grade! It's life changing when you realize what made you overeat and understanding why you felt that way which put you there. Unlike you who so bravely had photos taken while you were at your biggest I almost have no photos of when I was at my heaviest but the few I do, I treasure and also I keep a few pieces of all clothes to remind me. Lastly, that's awesome how the money you've saved from your high end buys went to other things!

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  8. Lisa, thanks for sharing something so personal and being vulnerable -- I'm really inspired and cant wait to be motivated because I'm in a similar state of mind that you were in. I cant wait to see your next post!

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  9. What an inspiring story! It reminds me back of few years when i was in high school and struglling with my weight. I guess more than 70% women out there in the world has been through same case of weight loss with different story behind their motivation! You have done it really nice! And your story truly inspiring and touching and proving how strong and beautiful person you have become! I wanna say again you are beautiful!! :)

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  10. good for you lisa! i am looking forward to your upcoming posts... you look amazing!

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  11. Aww… Lis! You are so brave to be so open, honest, and vulnerable with your tale and truths on the blogosphere! This was a truly touching and motivating post. I'm so happy for you and Lucas, for your own happiness. It's funny in the years we've "known" each other - I would never guess you for being less than happy and just oh-so-kind. And also so inspiring about paying off the car! I did have to remind J - I think I've returned most gifts he's given me in the past two years. I guess being older (errrmmm, more mature) = confidence, and less need/desire for flashy new things? Love you girl!

    xx Viv at JoieDeViv

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  12. Fabulous post, really enjoyed reading it. Thank you for sharing your personal journey, and congrats on the weight loss!

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  13. Aww Lisa, thanks for sharing something so deep and so personal with us. You are such a strong person, it is truly inspiring! You've also really motivated me to move on with my life and do something about it. i've also been trying to loose weight, but more than that i'm at a very down time in my life where i feel like it's going nowhere, and that work makes me so miserable and the environment there makes me want to hide in the bathroom and cry everyday. But you are such a strong person, i felt that if you can get past all of that, why am i not trying harder to make myself happier?
    Thank you for this amazing post, you are so brave! Never forget that you are beautiful!

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  14. Thanks for sharing Lisa.
    Looking forward to the next post.
    Hugs from Canada.

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  15. Thank you for sharing something so personal with us Lisa. I always saw you as a beautiful inside and out. And I believe you lived this amazing life -- amazing husband, travels, family, and all this luxury goods...blogging lets us hide what we don't want others to know, and with you sharing this just makes you so much stronger. You are right, we are hypercritical when we're unhappy about something about ourselves, so you're not alone on that one. You are an inspiration to so many women. I am glad you took the time to lose the weight and I believe you that it was a slow and difficult processes, but look at you now, you look amazing, but most importantly, you are taking control of your health!

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  16. Thank you for this post. I nearly started to cry when reading your post, because it seemed so similar what I had gone through. Thank you for sharing.

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  17. I started tearing up reading this post! You're beautiful inside and out. :) I'm so proud of you! 100 pounds is no easy feat. I was looking through the pics and it's so crazy how fast time has gone by. Love you Lisa!

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  18. I"m speechless, Lisa you are beautiful inside out, and thanks for sharing your personal & amazing story.
    xoxo
    Christy

    http://www.am2pmchic.com/

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  19. lisa, you are such a beautiful soul! i`m so sorry that you had to go through all that, but so happy to know that you are in a much better place now! *hugs* lots of love from me and kimchi (we`re always rooting for you!!)

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  20. Thanks for sharing! You are an amazing strong woman and such an inspiration. There's so many beauty/lifestyle blogs out there (most pretty flashy), but you are one of the most genuine and kindhearted bloggers!! I enjoy your posts and updates on life! :)

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  21. Lisa, thank you so much for sharing this with us all. I understand not liking yourself and how it can turn you into someone you don't want to be. I'm really proud of how far you have come and hope someday soon we can toast in person to your success. <3

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  22. omg Lisa your a true inspiration for me... I wish I would be as strong as you are. you are beautiful in and out!

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  23. LISA!! you are amazing!! such an inspiration :) You are so wonderful for sharing your story and I think it's awesome that you made that decision for yourself to be healthy and really truly went for it. You look amazing but beyond that I can really tell how much happier you are.

    p.s. next time text me a pic of the presents your hubs gets you before you return them, I want to drool over them before they go back! :) LOL!!

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  24. Thanks for sharing such a heartfelt post! I was inspired by the rules of life. Im so proud of your weight loss, what an amazing feat. Marriage is definitely not easy; throw in the in-laws and it just got ten times harder. I dont have great in-laws either, so I can relate. The first year was very hard, but we somehow got through it. Everything is not rainbows and sunshine but is manageable as long as you have a supportive hubby to share your life with :)

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  25. Lisa, you are amazing!!! I've been following your blog for about 2 years now and I've noticed your weight loss. I thought you were a beautiful and interesting woman when I first started reading your blog, but I can tell that over the time that you were losing the weight, you were more happy and confident, and there's just a special smile on your face. I too am in the process of losing weight and getting healthier, more fit, and stronger. Looking forward to reading how you did it! =D

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  26. You are so strong! This is an amazing story! I have been following you for so long now, and it is very noticeable how much happier you are now. I wish you the best of luck <3

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  27. awesome post dear...i love ur smile..u r soo grgs darling...keep it up...stay bless !!!

    my recent one :http://www.vanitynoapologies.com/2014/04/mac-cream-color-base-improper-copper-review-swatches.html#more-8661

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  28. awww so sweet Lisa.. glad u shared this.. u inspired so many people out here to loose weight.. m on my way lost some bt still need to loose more fr health reasons.. really happy for u.. u look lovely as always.. Happy Monday xoxo
    http://natashabhatt.blogspot.in

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  29. inspiring journey. thanks for sharing Lisa. =)

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  30. Lisa: I dont know where to start. Having been your blog reader for about 3 years, I LOVE this post and ADMIRE this raw/honest post and you very much (and other posts too). From your honest talk about marriage and self image, this post is truly inspiring. People who don't know you in real life have no clue you too had struggles. That's something I have learned over the years to not judge people we don't know. You have come a long way and won many battles, you should be so very proud. You are truly blessed to have an amazing and loving husband by your side too.

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  31. Wow, that was so inspiring! I feel like I'm in the same boat. Army life, moving a lot, eating my feelings, etc. This truly helped me and I am going to read it when I need motivation. Thank you! :)

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  32. You have a power, darling Lisa! Incredible change but you are beautiful! ALWAYS! :)

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  34. Lisa,

    I've never commented on your blog before, but after reading this, I had to. Your post was raw, honest and very touching. You should be so proud of yourself for making this physical, emotional and mental change. Thank you for writing this post... I loved reading it.

    --Emilia, a longtime reader

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  35. I love this blog post. It's absolutely inspiring and it's so raw and honest! I'm a girl of a bigger size. Being short doesn't help me. I actually have long legs for a short person, but because I'm so out of balanced it doesn't show. I'm also a stress eater! I completely piled on the weight during my university years, the stress from studying, finding a job before graduating, comparing myself to my older brother (who had always being doing way better), keeping my parentals satisfied and happy really took a massive toll on me. My weight just went up and up and up. Then I spent years in a profession that made my life miserable. I swear, I'm at my heaviest ever in my entire life so far and you're such an inspiration! I loved reading your blog and watching you slim down. You're gorgeous inside and out and no matter what weight you were you will always be gorgeous.
    My weight had stopped piling on now, and like you said in your post. It's because I'm happy, way happier with myself and where I am and what I'm doing.

    I'm so proud of you and your journey had being tough but you're getting there! Keep it up, you're inspiring many of us with what you have achieved!

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  36. Congratulations. You look awesome. You were pretty even before your weight loss. I've only been following our blog for about a year. I had noticed the weight loss and wondered how you were do it. You are an inspiration. You should be proud.

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  37. You are my inspiration. I love love this post. I'm in the same boat and have always felt alone. You were beautiful before and you are beautiful now. Thank you for sharing your story. You have inspire me to get back on track. I hope I can be as successful as you. You look AH-Amazing and are awesome!! Great job girlie!! Now, tell me your secrets.

    Best, Mree

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  38. You are very inspiring, I really enjoyed reading this post I felt great that I was able to relate somehow because I was a very critical person too (sometimes I can still be critical) and I grew up viewing my life from a negative point of view. Congratulations on your achievement to becoming a better person and wifey hopefully I can be a better person one day. Thanks for sharing those 2 articles hopefully they will help me as much as they helped you :)

    http://wondersofandrea.blogspot.com

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  39. It was your best post, I love it! I'm a stress eater too, so I know losing weight not easy...but it's not a biggest problem. Being happy is the hardest mission in life, but you did it! I'm sooo proud of you! And the last picture wow look like a beautiful teenager, save it to the inspiration folder :)

    You always look pretty!

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  40. Thanks Lisa for sharing this inspirational blog with us. I started following you about a year and half ago because my cousin, Justine, told me to read about this cute blogger that living the life that I want, a good husband, luxury good, travels a lot, takes pretty pictures, enjoys good food, and etc. Little did I know that there also so much that was also going on. You are a strong and amazing person. You are now very far from the past and I am very happy to see that you are truly happy now. Till this day, you are still my inspiration! Thank you for being so strong and sharing your story with us!

    Tiffany

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  41. I've tried posting a comment three times - but mobile blogger doesn't seem to like me right now!

    I feel like you're totally a sister from another mister. I can completely relate to everything you've said - from the stress eating, the difficult mother-in-law, the negative outlook.etc.. Seriously.

    Good for you for standing up and making the decision to change. It takes a lot of hard work and dedication to do what you did - so big kudos to you! I look forward to hearing about your journey and how you were able to accomplish your goal.

    Congratulations again Lisa!

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  42. What an inspiring story Lisa! You have accomplished so far and I believe whatever you put your mind in to you'll get it! And I know that this post will benefit a lot of people will benefit from this post including me. You are beautiful!

    Delightful Ideas
    MOZO Shoes Giveaway

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  43. Hi Lisa! I just want to say how enjoyable this blog post was and how brave it is of you to be so honest about your life. Blogging really only does show a fraction of our lives, usually the fraction we want to show! You're definitely on an incredible journey and I'm so happy to see you happy! Keep going strong!

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  44. My friend went through a big weight-loss she was in an unhappy relationship and lived with th person. But they broke up and she went on a mission and went from a size 14 to a 4 in about 20 months. Now she is training to compete in body building competitions. I mean she wants to buff with muscles..k-razy. But she is doing it! Good Job!

    Allie of ALLIE NYC
    allienyc.com

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  45. I've followed your blog for several years now and never commented once. This post was the most touching I've ever come across. I admire your honesty, bravery, and willingness to share what's in your heart. You should be so proud of yourself. You have such an amazing life with a wonderful husband, family, and friends. Everyone goes through hard times in their lives and how they pick themselves up is what really defines them. You are truly an inspiration.

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  46. thank you for sharing your story. i'm glad just for health reasons that you took charge of turning things around and living a healthier lifestyle. it really does impact how we feel about ourselves, our lives, and those around us. kudos to you!! look forward to your blog series!

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  47. This post is really meaningful, it takes a lot to see yourself and your actions for their true reasons (instead of living in denial), what more share this with the world. To admit our own mistakes and flaws, and work on them to be better.. I really enjoy reading your stories, I'm gonna sound like a broken record but yes, you are really inspiring and the fact that you are a luxury loving yet practical woman who sees the bigger picture (well done on the car!) I find that you are a beautiful person inside and out.

    Well done on both your body and mind transformation! I cant wait to read how you did it!!

    xoxoxx

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  48. Words cannot express how impressed I am with all of the hard work you have put in! I'm glad that you were able to do so and that you took away from the experience an important lesson-that we often criticize people based on fault we see in ourselves. Lately, I've been trying harder to be less judgmental and this post really reinforced that.

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  49. What an amazing transformation! Congrats on the weight loss. You look fabulous and it's great that you don't rely on "designer names" to feel good about yourself (although I have to admit, I've been missing your handbag and shoe reveals lately, LOL)

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  50. It's rare to see a person expose herself so vulnerably, but it's a testament to your personal, internal growth. Your husband was obviously keenly aware of your core, even during your internal struggles, and his ability to love you and support you through the ugliest (internal) periods shows just how amazing he is. You should be proud of yourself for becoming your true self---with weight loss as the icing on top. Thank you for sharing!

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  51. I am so proud of you! definitely an inspiration! :D

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  52. You are awesome, Lisa!! I've struggled with my weight for some time now. Your accomplishments really inspires me. I want to change and I can't wait to for your blog series!! ^_^

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  54. You are so awesomely inspiring Lisa! So so so beautiful inside and out. Big hugs, and congratulations on finding yourself again!

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  55. whoua! This is spectacular! Can' wait to know how you did it!

    http://ladyparisienne.blogspot.fr/

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  56. Oh my gosh--- this is amazing! Thank you so much for sharing your journey with us! What an accomplishment--- you should really be so proud!

    ~Alexis Grace of North On Harper

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  57. Your weight loss is nothing but inspiring! You look great!

    Monica Harmony's Blog

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  58. This post was incredibly interesting to read because it details your journey, not just weight-wise, but in many other ways too. You seem like a really lovely person and you absolutely BEAUTIFUL so congratulations on your weight loss!! :)

    http://findmethoseheels.blogspot.co.uk/

    X

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  59. As someone who has watched you struggle with your weight your entire life and watch it affect you emotionally and physically I can't tell you how happy and proud of you to have endured, struggled, and defeated such a difficult task. You're on your way to being the best person you can be spiritually and physically. Love you sis.

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  60. Your post is beautiful dear Lisa adn very encouraging.
    I try to lose weight but it is not easy and I am not rather strict with myself. I hope sincerly one day to arrive at the same result as you because it is hard to live with a big body.
    Thank you very much for this testimony <3

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  61. Wow, what a great story! Thank you so much for putting yourself out there and sharing with your readers. I've always loved your blog for it's travel and food content, but now I feel even more relatable to you because your story of losing weight is such an inspiration!

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  62. Lisa you are a beautiful butterfly to me:) I have known you since the beginning of this story and I know you are an amazing individual and im so glad were friends and this is such an amazing achievement!!!! Next time I see you its time to celebrate!!! :) loveeee always!!!

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  63. Wow! I had no idea of your struggles and it's incredible to see how you've managed to turn your life around! Congrats on the weight loss too... you're looking amazing!

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  64. That is such a triumph! Absolutely amazing :)

    ashley-ashstash.blogspot.com

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  65. I've been a silent lurker follower of your blog for years, but feel compelled to comment now. You look amazing and I really would NEVER have guessed you were even close to 200 lbs before! I'm so impressed and motivated by your candor and weight loss story. Thank you for sharing!

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  66. Good for you!! The way you started collecting luxury handbags, I treat my make-up. I started wearing more and more make-up as I gained weight. I would love to hear how you lost your weight!! I'm currently losing the weight again, but it is difficult from time to time.
    Thank you so much for sharing your story Lisa :) It is truly inspiring to me!!
    xoxo
    Suzanne

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  67. Darling , you are so inspirational to me, I have told you that so many times, but this post just melted my heart, all I wanted is to just pick up the phone and talk to you!!! I can relate to your story on so many levels... i have ballooned to 215 pounds after my second kid and have been having a really hard time to mentally get myself to start the weight loss program... up until the last couple of weeks... I lost 5 pounds down to 210, and it might be not much, but it is a start... something happened in my life that made me very hopeful and got the desire in me to get back to healthy weight and get my life back! I am so excited for my future and truly hope I follow your footsteps and continue this journey to get back to my own self that I lost throughout the years.. I feel all this extra weight are all my frustrations, disappointments, failures...everything that ever didn't work out the way I imagined it will when I grow up , all of this turned into the layers of fat on my body.. and now I am in the process of releasing all this bad energy, all the negativity and replacing it with hopefulness, love, peace, contentment... My dear Lisa thank you for righting such an honest open post, I know it motivates me to keep going and never give up! Thank you for being you, I love you so much!!!

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  68. your story is so inspirational & you look great!! :D

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  69. Awesome read! really Inspiring :)
    http://theknotstory.com/

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  70. Lovely post and awesome pics dear..:-)
    www.beautyandfashionfreaks.com

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  71. WOW.... Lisa!!! This is an amazing post!! And I really want to thank you for sharing your story with your blog friends!! You are a great inspiration and I definitely learned alot about you from this one post. I have been following for three years and I am grateful for it!! Thank you so much for being a great inspiration and I wish you all the best for the future ahead of you!!

    Take care and air hug!!!

    My Lyfe ; My Story
    @MyLyfeMyStory ♥ ♥

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  72. you looks so amazing now! back then too, bit this, wauw! I hope you are so proud of yourself because you deserve it!

    xxx Anna
    JOIN THE The Petit Paillette GIVEAWAY!!
    A Tale of Two Shoes

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  73. Omg Lisa!! You look amazing!! Then and now! I applaud you for putting this personal post up and you continue doing what you're doing. :)


    xo - Sheila
    www.sheislovelyblog.com


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  74. OMG what an amazing journey! Good for you! You look sooooo fabulous ( like you always did), but more importantly your are happier and healthier. So happy for you and thanks for sharing this personal story! It's so hard to just lose 5 lbs, but 100 lbs..wow what an achievement! You should be so so so proud of yourself!

    -cynthia
    sosoobsessed.blogspot.com

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  75. This was a truly inspirational post. Every single person, whether skinny or fat, has their own story on how they got to where they are. Seriously don't judge until you know their story.

    You deserve a standing ovation for all the effort and discipline!!! Congrats! And you look absolutely fantastic!!!

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  76. I missed this post, but wow! You are a true inspiration Lisa. I can only imagine how difficult it must have been being flooded with comments from an Asian mom (we know Asian females think any size above 4 is large). You took charge, adopted a great attitude and look amazing (inside and out!)

    xoxo,
    Chic 'n Cheap Living

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  77. Lisa this was such a wonderful post and it was so uplifting to read about you and all of your progress. So happy for you and you make a wonderful point that it's happy people that have the most fun in life :) I love that it seems like you've achieved your ideal balance. Thank you for sharing (and PS I love the frozen huge bags of Costco broccoli! You've inspired me to go use more of it now!)

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  78. You look absolutely amazing now. Truly inspiring. Good on you for writing such an open and honest piece on your blog. All the best to you.

    xx opinionslave.com

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  79. you look amazing! and i am so happy for you x
    http://saltskinned.blogspot.com.au

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  80. what an encouraging and brave post. keep it up! it takes a lot of commitment to lose that kind of weight! You look great, glowing and super happy :) Most of all you're healthy again :)

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  81. Darling girl, I just want to tell you how proud I am of you! You are look fabulous and more importantly, you are being healthy and that makes me ever so proud to see :) You definitely encourage me to lose weight because I'm at a place right now where I'm not very comfortable with myself either and it's just difficult to get back onto the eating right/healthy bandwagon without falling off! I am so happy for you honey but just know that you were beautiful at 230lbs and 130lbs because you have such a beautiful heart and that's all that people see :)

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  82. I loved reading this blog post so much. Thank you for sharing your story. You are truly amazing! I've been reading your blog since the beginning, but I don't always get to read it now as motherhood has me quite busy. I always thought you had the perfect life and that you were always happy with yourself. I admire you so much for sharing the personal stuff about your feelings and the difficult truth you were facing. I am now inspired to take control of my health as well. Thank you!!!!!

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  83. Also, you look FANTASTIC🎉

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  84. This is an amazing post. There's a lot of truth here and some of it is hitting home for me. Like you, I need a change. I think I'm ready. Thank you.

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  85. I liked what you said about people who are hyper critical of others are usually hyper critical of themselves. I definitely believe in that! People who hate others usually hate themselves more. Congratulations on your road to self love!! :)

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  86. What an inspiring post, Lisa! I haven't read your blog in a long time because I was taking a break from blogging but I'm so glad I decided to stop by, catch up and pause to read about your journey. What a transformation inside and out! I'm looking forward to seeing a happier you and you've always seemed like a happy, go-lucky globetrotter to me so I was none the wiser before. Keep it up and keep smiling!

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  87. Hey Lisa, I took quite a while to read most of the posts I've missed. This is by far your best post ever! You've certainly tugged my heartstrings for this.

    It takes a lot of courage to share about your weight issues, the story of the beginning, the before photos and most admirably about your personality when you were heavier. That's brutal honesty and I seriously couldn't imagine you being mean and negative coz when I started reading your blog, you have always been really sweet with your comments and I like that you really do read my posts, even the long ones. Always love reading your comments. That said, it must have taken you a lot to share about all these. I also like how you shared about you and the hubz and MIL coz not many people would openly do that. I had no idea at all, really and I like you even more for being open with us.

    Also, your journey has been an inspiring one and I'm sure it has touched many too. I believe in beauty inside and out and continue to have your beauty shining!

    xoxo
    Jo
    Jo's Jumbled Jardinière

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  88. You look so amazing! Thank you for sharing your story and best of luck to you! xoxo.

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